September 16th, 2008 by Lou

I’ll start off by saying that the nice people at Google approved my application. I’m very excited about it. I mean I don’t think I’ll become a millionaire, but it’ll be nice to see what the results are like, given that I can get more people (as in individuals that are either just like me or appreciate people like me) to come visit my site. Of course, I can’t say things like, “Click my ads! K Thnx” or anything like that, I’d be in direct breech of their policy. Thanks for the approval!

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I’m doing Voice Ensemble this semester…to make a long story short, I can only pass once everyone else knows their part. If it’s obvious to our teacher that most of us can’t hold our shit together, we all fail (anything below a C is a fail). I offered to record our part, and it’s more difficult than I thought it would be. It means having to be awake and do stuff.

I’ve been given new medication and it appears that I may be in fact, Bipolar. Yay!! (Sarcasm intended.) So I take Depakote during the day (it’s a mood stabilizer) and Seroquel at night (a sedative that works better than ANY SLEEPING PILL I’VE EVER TAKEN! PEOPLE, IF YOU NEED A SLEEPING PILL, TAKE SEROQUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and it knocks me out unlike anything I’ve ever taken. It’s too powerful so I take half.

Yay being able to sleep.

I’m seriously thinking that I might go get some food even though it’s really late.

September 10th, 2008 by Lou

I recently discovered that my blog was rejected at PayPerPost because I didn’t have at least 10 posts in the last 30 days. Fair enough. And yesterday I got an email from AdSense to let me know I was not accepted for their program because of navigation issues. Again, fair enough, because all of my pages aren’t up yet (but I put them in Wordpress because I wanted to see my menu ^^ in action.) I doubt PayU2Blog will be contacting me any time soon because of the whole ‘not enough posts’ thing. I am by no means bitter, just a little disappointed. At least I have the chance to apply again once I get my shit together.

A couple of days ago I signed up with BloggerSwap and I put the code up. I wanted to see how it looked so I opened up my site (in a new tab of course) and it seemed to work (except for that sign up link at the bottom…I despise it) but what had me pissing mad was the featured site. The banner featured some topless white chick and upon clicking I discovered a blog belonging to a nymphomaniac (or so she called herself?). Now, I have nothing against sex/porn. I’m a huge fan of sex (with my boyfriend and no one else) and I’m a huge fan of porn (once Brian Pumper is in it). But I won’t link to porn sites on this blog nor will I link to any site that contains bare naked titties and other reproductive organs. But I put the code back up anyway. I’ll be watching it like a hawk and if it happens again I’ll just say goodbye to them.

The layout of this site came with a neat little box that could hold 6 125×125 ads. I think it was a mistake putting the Entre Card and other blog swap codes up there. I think I’ll put them somewhere else and leave the box for what it was meant for. I don’t like how it comes together because the codes don’t come out the same size. The Spottt exchange is fine, but the Entre Card’s code makes it a little bigger than Spott’s. To make matters worse, I think the people at Spottt are having server issues because every site I’ve been on sporting a Spottt code only has a link to the main website and when I went to their site I saw a database error message. Meh.

When I heard about Entre Card, I thought I wouldn’t like it much, but I do. I’ve discovered some really amazing personal blogs out there. The world is not completely devoid of intelligent beings. I also found this little gem, not through Entre Card though - Friction - A Sex Worker’s Weblog. The author describes how difficult it is being in the business and tells funny/horrifying stories of her clientele without getting into gory details. Not that I’d mind, but some people would.

In other non-related news, I had KFC on Monday night (or was it Sunday?) and for most of yesterday I lived in the toilet. I couldn’t eat much because it just meant more sitting on the toilet (which gets boring after a while even though I had a book to read) and the end result is me being dehydrated and sickly looking. Had I been vomiting I would look much worse. Damn you, KFC, DAMN YOU!

September 5th, 2008 by Lou

These days have been going by so quickly yet so slowly at the same time. School started back without any major drama (a good thing) and I’m repeating Level 1 piano this semester. I still haven’t put my fingers to the keys and I’m supposed to have a shitload of work prepared for both my piano teacher at school and my ABRSM exams (Google it if you’re confused). I know, why can’t I just have 1 teacher do both? Because it isn’t fair to my piano tutor at school - he’s paid to take me through the set syllabus, not take me through external exams.

My sleeping has been all off. Sometimes I sleep too much, sometimes I don’t sleep at all. It’s 2:08 AM and my stomach is screaming at me to put some junk food in it. Knowing myself I’ll probably find myself at Church’s Chicken waiting in line for a 5 piece special. At this hour of the morning I am prone to anything, even going out of my way to get fast food. It’s like a drug, I swear. Unlike the other drugs that I take for depression and insomnia, comfort eating ACTUALLY SEEMS TO WORK SOMETIMES.

Yes, it’s unhealthy, very unhealthy indeed. All that salt, all that fat, it’s not good for me. I’ll never lose ANY weight at this rate. I can feel my jeans cutting off my circulation these days and my knee hurts more and more these days. Every day I wake up and say to myself, ‘today is the first day that I’ll stop eating fast foods for comfort.’ And it never works. Sometimes I think chocolate should be my comfort food of choice. Or maybe I should be an alcoholic instead. But when I get depressed, hunger feels worse than it really is and I start craving the taste of fried chicken.

If there’s a life after death for chickens, I’m in big trouble…

May 31st, 2008 by Lou

I get up, after using the snooze button repeatedly, resulting in me being late for work.

Breakfast, if I feel inclined to live a healthy life that day, followed by a shower, then I get dressed and it’s off to work.

Data entry for hours on end, making jokes with my co-workers without getting to close to them, keeping a hard face unless I can’t help but smile.

It’s 3:30…off to class, once I actually have a class that day, freezing my ass off in a brightly lit classroom…if there’s no class, I’m on my way home. Peel off my work clothes, sign in to MSN to talk to my favorite guy.

Friday night - Sunday evening - on my laptop, posting on message boards, or catching up on reading or homework. There is no one I call to say, ‘let’s see a movie’ or ‘go to the club’. Kat* is usually too busy to do anything because like me she’s working and going to school. I haven’t seen or heard from Tammi* in months because there’s some crazy shit going on in her life. Lara* is away studying…

My ex is another good friend of mine, but I’m afraid of being too close to him.

No social life. It’s really depressing and sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me. After I left school, everything changed. People revealed their true colours. Ugly colours they are.

What do I do now? Cry myself to sleep, shrouded in loneliness and ridden with emotional and mental pain. I speak to my favorite guy everyday because I really like him and he really likes me. We understand each other.

I am so used to having a gazillion friends.

What happened?

April 10th, 2008 by Lou

For the past few moths I’ve been unemplyed and only going to school in the evenings. As a result I’ve been sleeping late more often. I figured this was no biggie because I had the extra time. Then I started getting up really late - 2:00 pm would still find me snoozing. So I’d wake up around 2:30, loaf around because I’d feel really tired and end up being late for class because of my loafing around. After class I stayed up all night, sometimes until 3:00 am. This is over 9 hours of sleep a night.

Then I started feeling really ill and unwell. At first I thought it was the new antidepressent I was on, but then I realised that no matter how much I slept I’d still feel the same way - very tired, aching muscles, throbbing head. Sometimes I’d feel like I had the flu. I just did some research on the subject after a comment on my blog brought to my attention that I was getting too much sleep and it turns out that too much sleep is detrimental.

Here’s how it works. When you sleep, your body temperature drops. The average sleeper wakes up after 7 - 8 hours sleep and after waking their body temp rises to where it’s supposed to be. Too much sleep however means that you’re getting less exposure to the sun and your body temperature is lowered for longer than it should be. After you wake up after over sleeping, your temperature takes too long to rise again, resulting in how I felt - lethargic, unrefreshed, groggy.

My solution therefore is this - go to bed at a fixed time (including weekends) and wake up at a fixed time. Somewhere between 7 and 8 hours sleep is adquate for an adult. I’m working towards 7. Before going to bed and after waking up I should have a regimen and after waking up a brisk walk or jog is the perfect way to perk myself up. The doctor did say I needed to lose some weight and do something about my diet.

I think it’s time I really sat down and work on a fixed regimen.