September 30th, 2008 by Lou

So yeah. I was bored and decided I needed something to watch.

Now after I turned 18 I slowly stopped watching MTV because it seemed to appeal to a more white/middle class audience that was into emo and bad rock…(no offense?). I decided to watch Paris Hilton’s My New BFF. First, let me start by saying what I thought was whack.

1. In tonight’s episode there was one girl that earned her reputation as the House Snitch. Uh, sweetie, when she said she wanted you to be her eyes and ears you were supposed to keep it a FUCKING SECRET!!. Do you honestly think that the others are going to bad talk each other in your hearing? Absolutely not.
2. Did Paris really have to refer to her as a puppy? That’s kind of degrading, isn’t it?
3. Hey Paris, while friends should trust each other’s opinions they should also respect each other’s personal preferences. I mean, sure, you got top notch makeup artists and those two gay fashionistas to give everyone makeovers, but is it really too hard for you to respect someone’s personal tastes, even if they’re a hot mess?

I’ve nicknamed this girl the House Bitch, at the risk of sounding vicious. (Speaking of that dratted word, I have more to say about that in a minute.) I can understand that she missed home. Fair enough. I also understand her hesitance to cut her hair. But was the whole “I’m pretty and the world hates me” routine absolutely neccesary? You’re NOT THAT CUTE, so get over yourself. And then Paris announces that she isn’t kicking you out. Not a wise decision. Then this Asian girl, I can’t remember her name, goes up to you to give you a victory hug and then you have the balls to say “don’t hug me, fake bitch” or something like that. I mean we know they’re all fake, but the Asian girl seemed kind enough, return the hug, damn it!

Meet Michelle. One look and her and you can tell that she’s had numerous surgeries done on her face and her body (she admitted to having breast implants in the “interrogation”). She obviously likes herself as she is because she refused the make over. She worked that red carpet, sweaty, stinky and with “no makeup”. You go girl. I don’t see why she got bumped off because at least unlike Kiki she seemed like a nice girl, not full of herself and giving everyone else a bitchy attitude. I mean, the other girls looked somewhat upset when they realized that Kiki was here to stay and that she wasn’t. The other girls were asked what they thought and the majority said that Kiki should leave…but she’s still there? Michelle should have stayed.

I can’t believe I’m so hung up over a show like this. I’m not a teenager, I’m an adult with more sophisticated taste! Yet I know I’ll find myself watching this crap next Monday just to see what happens…