Finally Comfy, Then It All Disappears…
August 20th, 2008 by Lou
I love orange, but this theme has got to go. Now all I need to do is haul myself to the drawing board again and come up with a theme. I’m not sure what look I’m going for or if I’ll use a celebrity or not. I’ll figure it out. Hopefully.
James and I had a good time together, even though uncertainty kept kicking me in the pubes and we tend to insult each other without realizing it (that’s what happens when you take two really sensitive, touchy people and put them out in the blazing sun). But all in all, it was a hard goodbye and I miss him. I miss stroking his hair every morning and the smell of his cologne. All I have to do is close my eyes and remember that scent.
So we’re together. He’s going to be home quite soon, once his flights ran on time. I was dreading today’s goodbye more than anything. This was the part I feared the most. Not the awkwardness, but having to wake up on the last day, seeing his suitcase packed, seeing the dresser devoid of his stuff, seeing no more diet coke in the fridge, his toothbrush, his towel, his PSP games, his Air Force 1s next to the bed…I knew I’d be sad to tear myself away from how we had been living - carefree, just me and him, doing as we chose when we chose. I dreaded this because I know myself and I know how I can get when a routine disappears like that. I was finally getting comfortable with our racial and social differences (because at first I struggled.)
It’s like when me and my ex used to spend weekends together. When it first stopped I’d cry from Friday night to Sunday afternoon, wanting the old school weekends back, watching cable on my Dad’s couch, playing PS2 games and walking around the house naked. I was down for months. I don’t know what it is with me. When I lose something like that, it messes me up entirely.
- Posted in Love, Technology
August 24th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I’m new to your site, and I’m not entirely sure what’s going on, but keep your head up sweetie. Things are never really as bad as they seem. You seem like a strong woman, and I know that you’ll make it through!
August 24th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Well, I’m glad that you and James had a good time. Hey, you only insult the one you love. It is tough when you have to say goodbye and life changes or goes back to the old. Change is just crappy overall.
August 26th, 2008 at 2:59 am
Aww, it won’t be the same without him here with you, but hope you can still stay in touch with him online or on the phone!
August 26th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
It’s never easy to be away from someone you love. Even more difficult is getting used to a completely new routine, and along with that, not seeing your significant other.
I relate a lot to what you’re writing about. Whenever I’m away from the people I love, I call them/email them constantly. It gets irritating to them but hey, it works for me. xD
Hope everything’s fine :).
August 27th, 2008 at 5:23 am
Awww, it sucks that he had to leave. Somehow, whenever you have to leave someone you like or vice versa even if it’s not permanent, you just feel empty and hollow. I can honestly say I’m feeling like that right now.
BUT WALKING AROUND THE HOUSE NAKED? LOL. Too many mental images…
August 27th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
You sound so depressed. Okay, c’mon..you can do it! he’ll be back soon…awww…yeah, that feeling huh? when you finally getting used to seeing him and being around him..man..
August 28th, 2008 at 10:07 am
If you want to change layouts, a simple personalized theme would be a nice idea.
August 29th, 2008 at 11:32 am
Thanks for the comment
Sorry to hear that your missing James. I hope he is back now to cheer you up.
August 29th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
?